Growing Kids

So tomorrow is Jessica's birthday.  She's turning 11.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  It does kind of make me shutter when I think 13 is just around the corner and 9 was only a couple years back.  D.J. turns 6 a month from tomorrow.  Then all of my children will be 6 and older.  Very strange!  I always heard this time would come; when they would all be school age.  It feels nice to have a little more breathing room.  Literally.  No more babies crowding my internal organs and pushing my lungs up to my throat!  Even though I do have fond memories of carrying all four of my children for 9 months, each.  There are no more newborn babies laying on my chest after we both fell asleep during feeding time.  I'm not carrying anyone around in my arms anymore and gasping for breath after just having climbed 5 flights of stairs.  (with child still in arms...)  They run off to play and I have moments alone now.  I feel like there is a part of me that I am rediscovering!  But it did tug at my heart a little when I asked D.J. tonight at bedtime if I was still his sweetheart and he answered "it's up to you".  If it WAS just up to me, I'd be his sweetheart forever.  Sadly, it's not only up to me.  He was the one who said those words to me when he was just a little guy, "Mommy, you're my sweetheart".   I may not feel ready to separate from the closeness we once shared but my children are raring to take off and grow.  So I stay rooted and watch from my place as the sun shines and rains flow in order to bring these lives to a place they were intended to go.